Liberals are village idiots...
in [Design]
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From: Michael A. Terrell on 8 May 2010 20:22 flipper wrote: > > On Sat, 08 May 2010 18:26:08 -0400, "Michael A. Terrell" > <mike.terrell(a)earthlink.net> wrote: > > > > >flipper wrote: > >> > >> On Sat, 08 May 2010 11:02:50 -0400, "Michael A. Terrell" > >> <mike.terrell(a)earthlink.net> wrote: > >> > >> > > >> >flipper wrote: > >> >> > >> >> On Fri, 07 May 2010 02:43:27 -0400, "Michael A. Terrell" > >> >> <mike.terrell(a)earthlink.net> wrote: > >> >> > >> >> > > >> >> >flipper wrote: > >> >> >> > >> >> >> On Wed, 28 Apr 2010 19:16:57 -0400, "Michael A. Terrell" > >> >> >> <mike.terrell(a)earthlink.net> wrote: > >> >> >> > >> >> >> > > >> >> >> >Jim Thompson wrote: > >> >> >> >> > >> >> >> >> On Wed, 28 Apr 2010 15:20:03 -0500, flipper <flipper(a)fish.net> wrote: > >> >> >> >> > >> >> >> >> >On Wed, 28 Apr 2010 10:16:23 -0700, Jim Thompson > >> >> >> >> ><To-Email-Use-The-Envelope-Icon(a)On-My-Web-Site.com> wrote: > >> >> >> >> > > >> >> >> >> >>Liberals are village idiots... > >> >> >> >> >> > >> >> >> >> >>In their various marches against the new AZ "illegals" law, they're > >> >> >> >> >>calling for a boycott against "Arizona Iced Tea"... > >> >> >> >> >> > >> >> >> >> >>The Arizona Beverage Company is a producer of various flavors of iced > >> >> >> >> >>tea, juice cocktails and energy drinks... based in Queens, New York > >> >> >> >> >>:-] > >> >> >> >> >> > >> >> >> >> >> ...Jim Thompson > >> >> >> >> > > >> >> >> >> >That reminds me of "New York Texas Toast" which, I believe, is a > >> >> >> >> >hanging offense in Texas. > >> >> >> >> > >> >> >> >> There's a salsa _made_in_New_Jersey_. > >> >> >> > > >> >> >> > > >> >> >> > Pace. > >> >> >> > >> >> >> The parent company Campbell's (since 1995) is headquartered in New > >> >> >> Jersey but Pace is made in Paris Texas. > >> >> >> > >> >> >> I was, of course, parodying the Pace commercial where the cowhands > >> >> >> discover cookie is trying to serve them an obviously inferior picante > >> >> >> sauce and when one looks at the bottle he exclaims: "made in NEW york > >> >> >> CITY?" > >> >> >> > >> >> >> "Get a rope." > >> >> >> > >> >> >> The "New York Texas Toast" label was sent to me by a friend in > >> >> >> Rochester, New York that I had told, among other Texas legends, > >> >> >> etiquette (like never ask someone if they're from Texas. If there are > >> >> >> you'll find out soon enough and if they aren't you don't want to > >> >> >> embarrass them) and facts, the Pace commercial. > >> >> >> > >> >> >> It gets even better because "New York" brand is apparently made in > >> >> >> Ohio. > >> >> > > >> >> > > >> >> > I liked the package of peanuts with the warning label: 'Caution! > >> >> >This product processed on machines used with peanuts!' > >> >> > >> >> When it comes to 'peanut' warnings my favorites are bags of peanuts > >> >> that warn they contain peanuts. > >> >> > >> >> Ya think? > >> >> > >> >> In this day and age of artificial flavors I suppose it could be 'fake' > >> >> peanuts but if one were allergic I'd imagine 'peanuts in there' would > >> >> be a natural first guess for a package of peanuts. > >> >> > >> >> These silly ones get on there as a result of 'corporate policy' akin > >> >> to: "any food product which may contain peanut or peanut byproducts, > >> >> or may contain a non-peanut product that may have come into contact > >> >> with peanuts, peanut byproducts, or may have contacted machinery that > >> >> may have contacted peanuts or peanut byproducts, shall include the > >> >> following warning <insert legal department approved warning text> > >> >> prominently displayed on the label." > >> >> > >> >> Well, a package of peanuts certainly qualifies and woe be to anyone > >> >> who tries to argue, though 14 layers of management, "it's obvious" to > >> >> the legal department because no one ever got sued for the inclusion of > >> >> an 'obvious' warning. > >> > > >> > > >> > Another one is the manual for a battery powered tool. It tells you > >> >to use a 14 AWG or heavier extension cord, when the charger only draws > >> >230 mA. > >> > >> Another all time favorite. > >> > >> Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness. > >> > >> One would hope SO. > >> > >> I also kind of like this practical emergency safety procedure posted > >> at summer camp: In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash > >> flood proceed uphill quickly. > >> > >> And another useful tip on an American Airlines packet of nuts: > >> Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. > >> > >> I'll bet there's a policy to always include "instructions" so what > >> else could you say? Except, perhaps, to add: curse at near impossible > >> to open package... pick up spilled nuts.... > >> > >> But this one on a Swedish chain saw makes one wonder what law suit > >> inspired the warning: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or > >> genitals. > > > > > > You never know with the Swiss. I wonder if that's what inspired them > >to create IKEA? ;-) > > My mother had the universal explanation for conundrums, expressed as > the example: "Why do dogs bark? Because they're dogs (and that's what > dogs do)." > > Well, it worked when I was 4. Aren't there a couple breeds that can't bark? :) -- Anyone wanting to run for any political office in the US should have to have a DD214, and a honorable discharge.
From: Michael A. Terrell on 9 May 2010 16:15 flipper wrote: > > Michael A. Terrell wrote: > > > > Aren't there a couple breeds that can't bark? :) > > Not in my neighborhood! LOL > > On that my score my Border Collie is the best behaved of the lot, but > he thinks he's a 45lb lap dog. > > My other favorite explanation for why dogs bark is "just because I've > never seen a bear come around that corner before doesn't mean there > isn't one this time. bark bark bark bark" Did you ever stop to think that your dogs are just mocking Liberals, who don't know when to shut up? -- Anyone wanting to run for any political office in the US should have to have a DD214, and a honorable discharge.
From: Michael A. Terrell on 10 May 2010 01:27 flipper wrote: > > On Sun, 09 May 2010 16:15:48 -0400, "Michael A. Terrell" > <mike.terrell(a)earthlink.net> wrote: > > > > >flipper wrote: > >> > >> Michael A. Terrell wrote: > >> > > >> > Aren't there a couple breeds that can't bark? :) > >> > >> Not in my neighborhood! LOL > >> > >> On that my score my Border Collie is the best behaved of the lot, but > >> he thinks he's a 45lb lap dog. > >> > >> My other favorite explanation for why dogs bark is "just because I've > >> never seen a bear come around that corner before doesn't mean there > >> isn't one this time. bark bark bark bark" > > > > > > Did you ever stop to think that your dogs are just mocking Liberals, > >who don't know when to shut up? > > To be honest, no I never did ;) Can you blame them? Even dogs can spot idiots a mile away! :) -- Anyone wanting to run for any political office in the US should have to have a DD214, and a honorable discharge.
From: Michael A. Terrell on 10 May 2010 08:28 flipper wrote: > > On Mon, 10 May 2010 01:27:22 -0400, "Michael A. Terrell" > <mike.terrell(a)earthlink.net> wrote: > > > > >flipper wrote: > >> > >> On Sun, 09 May 2010 16:15:48 -0400, "Michael A. Terrell" > >> <mike.terrell(a)earthlink.net> wrote: > >> > >> > > >> >flipper wrote: > >> >> > >> >> Michael A. Terrell wrote: > >> >> > > >> >> > Aren't there a couple breeds that can't bark? :) > >> >> > >> >> Not in my neighborhood! LOL > >> >> > >> >> On that my score my Border Collie is the best behaved of the lot, but > >> >> he thinks he's a 45lb lap dog. > >> >> > >> >> My other favorite explanation for why dogs bark is "just because I've > >> >> never seen a bear come around that corner before doesn't mean there > >> >> isn't one this time. bark bark bark bark" > >> > > >> > > >> > Did you ever stop to think that your dogs are just mocking Liberals, > >> >who don't know when to shut up? > >> > >> To be honest, no I never did ;) > > > > > > Can you blame them? Even dogs can spot idiots a mile away! :) > > Sounds good but, truth be told, my dog treats idiots about the same as > anyone else. > > Now, in all fairness to the dog, when he was just a pup I sat down and > explained how the 'division of labor' was to work around here and that > his job was to chase squirrels out of the yard. It's my job to deal > with 'idiots' ;) > > Ever helpful he's since volunteered to drag tree limbs around the > yard, so I make sure to leave some, and, for purposes I have yet to > decipher, rearrange the walkway made of garden logs. It's quite > impressive to observe the work he puts into the latter because they're > half buried and he can't get his mouth 'around' the much too large log > yet still manages to relocate them a considerable distance. > > Another job he excels at is locating loose boards in the fence but > that's just naturally follows from his daily perimeter patrol and > inspection. > > Border Collies are 'energetic' dogs that *want* to work for you and if > you don't give them a 'job' they'll come up with their own ;) > > But he's not all work. You know those thin plastic pots garden shops > put plants in? Well, the larger ones are his 'entertainment'. He likes > to push his head inside and then simultaneously flip and jump, tossing > the pot in the air, which I eventually deduced resulted in "the great > disaster." > > One Saturday I was startled to hear blood curdling yelps come from the > deck as if the dog was in a death match with lord only knows what, and > loosing. Bad enough that I grabbed a stick, to use as a weapon, and > paused to look out the glass door before exiting so I could ascertain > what 'enemy' I was about to engage but, rather than an 'enemy', I saw > the dog trapped upside down, kicking wildly, underneath an aluminum > slider and plastic lawn chair piled on top each with him yelping in > terror because he couldn't get the dern things to flip off. Although, > he managed to kick himself sideways off the deck just as I opened the > door. > > Fortunately, after a brief paw lick inspection he was fine but how in > the world he got himself trapped was a mystery until a few weeks > later, during another 'entertainment' exercise of toss the planter > pot, it landed on one of the plastic chair seats. I heard the thump > and when I looked out could see him trying to retrieve it through the > side arm it was too large to pass but the clincher was his 'tactic'. > He'd delicately grab the edge of the pot and then, in one near > instantaneous combined maneuver.... jerk-let-go-jump-back-real-quick. > Approach it again, delicately grab the edge then.... > jerk-let-go-jump-back-real-quick. > > LOL > > The "great disaster" was apparently the result of his previous > 'mistake' in pulling the dern chair by the 'stuck' planter pot across > the deck, eventually backing himself and the chair into the slider > causing the combined mess to topple over himself, and he wasn't about > to let that sneaky *&&*% chair do that again so: grab the pot then... > jerk-let-go-jump-back-real-quick. > > Reminded me of Wile E Coyote in a Road Runner cartoon. > > I retrieved the planter pot for him and he just doesn't mess with > those lawn chairs any more. Too darn sneaky. Dogs: The original "Home Entertainment Center" :) -- Anyone wanting to run for any political office in the US should have to have a DD214, and a honorable discharge.
From: Michael A. Terrell on 13 May 2010 10:16
flipper wrote: > > Michael A. Terrell wrote: > > > >flipper wrote: > >> > >> On Wed, 12 May 2010 08:36:55 -0400, "Michael A. Terrell" > >> <mike.terrell(a)earthlink.net> wrote: > >> > >> >flipper wrote: > >> >> > >> >> Michael A. Terrell wrote: > >> > > >> > Mine could jump between the time you started to sit, and your butt > >> >hit the chair. Then give you 'The look' when you dared to sit and crowd > >> >him into the corner of the chair. :) > >> > >> LOL. Yes, I can see that. > >> > >> I'm trying to impose a bit of discipline in that he's not allowed in > >> the chair unless granted permission. > >> > >> The biggest problem is in sending 'mixed signals' by cracking up > >> laughing when he attempts to 'sneak on' one paw at a time as he tends > >> to interpret laughing as 'approval'. > > > > > > Are you sure your dog isn't just playing with your mind? ;-) > > Hell no I'm not sure. LOL > > Pretty sure, though ;) > > The thing is, they pick up cues lightning fast, as long as it's > something they want. hehe Like "This is a biscuit. Good biscuit. You > want a biscuit?" Give dog biscuit. > > It only took ONCE and next time you say "biscuit" the dog not only > goes into the "YES I want one" routine but dashes to the pantry > because I had given it to him there. > > Which means, each time at the chair I laugh and give in... "well, > that worked." hehe > > Same thing with the can opener, btw. I like tuna sandwiches so after > the first time I mixed tuna oil with his food I swear, for at least a > month, every time I opened a can of anything he was there "ok, where's > that yummy stuff? huh huh huh? Where, where?" > > He finally figured out it ain't happening if I haven't picked up the > food bowl too. Our Rat Terrier had a strange appetite. He would eat raw green beans, but not cooked. He loved raw tomatoes, but wasn't crazy about cooked. I gave him a small bowl of Chili once. He went crazy eating it, but when he finished, there was a small pile of kidney beans in the back of the bowl. He had licked them all clean, but wouldn't eat them. :) > >> Took me quite a while to get over the Aussie dying. > > > > > > Like my Rat Terrier. He started having strokes about a year before we > >had to have him put to sleep. The veterinarian said that there was > >nothing that could be done for him, and they were becoming more frequent > >with less recovery between strokes. :( > > It was sudden with the Aussie, playing one day and gone the next, but > I don't know if that's better or worse. At least you didn't have to watch its health fail, and constantly clean up the messes when it got sick. It finally got to the point that we couldn't let him continue to suffer, even though it meant that we would lose our long time friend. :( -- Anyone wanting to run for any political office in the US should have to have a DD214, and a honorable discharge. |