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From: JosephKK on 23 Dec 2009 03:29
On Tue, 22 Dec 2009 06:34:12 -0800, Jon Kirwan <jonk(a)infinitefactors.org> wrote:

>On Tue, 22 Dec 2009 05:57:29 -0800, I wrote:
>
>><snip>
>>Now, I _know_ for a fact she feels pain and feels worse pain more.
>>That comes from other observations. But she does NOT react to it,
>>even of the most painful variety, except with an almost stoicism and a
>>remarkable clarity of thinking about it. It's one of those things I
>>keep marveling about, trying to grasp it more fully. It's a stand out
>>thing about her.
>><snip>
>
>Something I thought to add. I also do not respond to pains as many
>others do. Mostly, I think, because my responses are viscerally more
>analytical. A story illustrates.
>
>We enjoy all wildlife and spend a lot of time in the woods just
>watching or studying animals in their behaviors, talking about what we
>observe, theorizing, and just plain loving the experiences. This got
>us to a point in our lives where we were doing "animal aid" volunteer
>work and for a time my wife and I became the contact point for 911
>calls regarding "wild animals." I was responding to a wild raccoon
>call in a new housing development near a woods and trapped the _huge_
>raccoon against a fence and house corner. I had on motorcycle leather
>gloves and had towels with me (very useful) and I managed to engage it
>and subdue it. (Raccoons, especially big ones, are very powerful. But
>a knee in their back with the weight of a human behind it completely
>sprawls them if applied craftily and well.) While wrapping it with
>the towels (much like a straight jacket idea), I made a mistake and
>allowed it's mouth to grasp my thumb. It's teeth went straight
>through the leather glove and deeply enough to fully engage its teeth
>right into some of my bones. It was quite painful.
>
>However, I felt _no_ emotion whatsoever. Not immediately, not later.
>No anger at the animal, at all. (I never have.. it is something I
>simply lack.) I completely understood what it had done and why it had
>done it. It was no fault of the raccoon and my mind was _purely_ and
>_only_ working on the details I'd need to consider in order to
>mitigate damage to me and to finish the job at hand. I had no other
>emotions operating. None, at least, that I was aware of.
>
>There have been many other such events in my life like that. We deal
>with animals and I'm not immune to injuries -- for example, I'm
>missing the tip of my right index finger from a chipper shredder event
>some years back and I've run another finger into a running saw (mostly
>okay, now.) A long life is not unlike that. But I remember this one
>in particular because it was the first time I realized that other
>people would likely feel anger towards an animal that attacked them.
>And I was in my 30's before it ever dawned on me that anyone could
>feel anger for that reason. Getting angry at an animal or inanimate
>object when injured seems irrational and illogical to me and makes no
>sense, whatsoever. And I certainly do NOT have any visceral (gut)
>reactions I know about in that regard. These kinds of things are
>simply "problems to solve" to me. Nothing more. Yes, I feel the
>pain. And yes I react to it! Just without the confounding emotions
>others seem to have.

For inanimate objects i usually do not get angry with the object but
with myself. I typically know that the object is there, and thus
that it is reliably my fault.
With animals it is more split, their objective is not (normally)
vicious, just self-defense. Still i am typically as frustrated
with them as i am with myself.
>
>It was afterwards, talking with others about the raccoon event, that
>they tried to empathize with me and talk about "boy, you must have
>been very angry." It was only in my own mystery about why they'd say
>so and in the ensuring questions I asked them and their own answers
>that it slowly began to dawn upon me that others would feel such
>emotions towards creatures and objects (like cupboard doors they
>bonked into at times.) I still find that a bit of a mystery, because
>I can't find it inside myself to understand it in a gut-way.
>
>Now, for me, people are entirely a different thing. I can get quite
>upset at people doing terrible things to others, or me. Because I
>know they know better.

Make that they should know better. I have had to deal with too many people
that quite willfully don't

>And I believe I can feel very much like others
>about that. Visciousness, mean-spiritness, disingenuousness, climbing
>on the backs of others, and so on are very human behaviors I do get
>angry about and despise.

I can get ticked even seeing it third party.

>It's just that I know a table or door isn't
>viscious and cannot be. Similarly, most animal behaviors as well. So
>there is nothing there to get angry at. And anger is a higher level
>brain function for me -- it requires analysis to feel. It _never_
>occurs to me at a primal-response level, before higher functioning
>gets a chance to operate.
>
>Which makes me wonder how much of her responses are like mine.
>
>Jon

I will hazard an estimate that there is a clear genetic component.
This, of course, enhances question about similarities with your spouse.
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